Clean Pet Jokes

There are TONS of good, clean pet jokes out there. If you have any you would like to send, email the to petadoptionplaces@yahoo.com or ksuinfo@yahoo.com. Please know that no animals were harmed in the forming of these jokes. :)

Where do black birds go to get a drink?

To the Crow Bar...

The Wal-Mart Cat - submitted by Elisha P.

A blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat
which was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the tail over
to WAL-MART!

Why WAL-MART???

HELLOOOOOOOOO!?

WALMART is the largest RE-Tailer in the world!!!

How to Give a Cat and a Dog a Pill (submitted by Heidi)

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"

"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A: Holes all over Australia.

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken's day off.

Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.

Q: Why do elephants drink so much?
A: To try to forget.

Q: How can you tell if an elephant is getting ready to charge?
A: He pull out his Diners' Club card.

Q: What do you get when two giraffes collide?
A: A giraffic jam.

The Clown noticed that his dog had become lethargic, lazy, and fat. Being a considerate pet owner, the clown took his beloved pet to the veterinarian. After some initial confusion about whether the veterinarian ate meat, the clown described his problem to the doctor.
The veterinarian explained that there was nothing seriously wrong with the clown’s pet dog, and that it simply needed some exercise. “You need to make sure this dog runs around,” the doctor said. “Try playing a game of fetch with him.”
This news saddened the clown immensely. “I can’t play fetch with my dog!” said the clown, holding back tears.
“ Why not?” asked the doctor.
The clown replied, “Don’t be silly! He can’t throw!”
A girl and her dogs...
A girl was visiting her blond friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?” “HelOOOooo,” answered the blond. “They’re watch dogs!”
What kind of dog plays BINGO? - a Dauberman Pincher

What is a kangaroo's favorite year? - Leap Year!

What is a dog or cats favorite oldie, but goodie song? - Fleas Release Me, Let Me Go.

A pregnant female horse walks up to the male horse. He asks - Honey, are you ok? Just replies - Yes, but I am feeling a little horse.

A frog works for a construction company. A passerby asks the forman - What is a frog doing in construction? He relies - He Ribbits our Rivets..

What is the name of a famous medical practicing dog? Barkus Welby, MD

A female cat has her nails done and fur cut. She walks into the living room and asks her husband "How do I look".. He replied - PURRRRRFECT!

A mom spider is playing with her kids - Their game - I spy, with my 64 eyes...

Did you know that Flipper was an animal with a purpoise?

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Why did the bee walk up to the newspaper boy? He wanted to know what all the buzz was about.

Mommy, who will watch our dog while we are on vacation? Ken nel do it.

A gal left her very bad cat at home alone. The cat shredded her blinds, knocked dishes off the counter, threw kitty litter on the floor. When the gal came home, shew as greeted with a CATastrophy!